The Tween Years, ages 11-14 is heralded by abrupt and rapid changes due to puberty. Very aware of their changing bodies, early adolescents often become “body obsessed”, and constantly look at and try to perfect themselves. There is experimentation with style and personal expression. Tremendous amounts of time spent tweaking and adjusting. For some tweens, however, bodily changes can lead to tremendous distress and similar amounts of effort devoted to concealing aspects that are deemed not to be good enough.
The development of body identity and self-esteem are pivotal aspects of early adolescent development. The physical changes of puberty brings increased self-consciousness and criticism. A negative self-concept coupled with the current intense focus on external attributes can create a catalyst for the development of abnormal and harmful eating behaviours and eating disorders. Eating disorders, extreme dieting and supplement abuse can have catastrophic and deadly results. These behaviours often begin in the teen years and when untreated, continue and worsen into adulthood.
Another hallmark of early adolescence, is the onset of peer influence. This is often when the shift in interest from family to friends occurs. Tweens want to spend more time with their peers which can be stressful or event hurtful for parents. These friendships, which typically are with same-gender identifying peers are intense and all-consuming.
Psychologically, the significant aspect of early adolescence is concrete thinking. Tweens live in the ‘here and now’ and tend to think in very black and white terms. They often lack the ability to correlate the possible future result of a present action, which sets the stage for parental conflict and arguments. Their matter-of-fact tone and rigidity is easily perceived as rudeness or insolence.
Essential to healthy early adolescent development is the recognition by parents that although their tweens and early teens are rapidly changing, they absolutely require supervision, input and support by parents. The frustration and conflict certainly increase, but tweens and early teens need and want their parents to be there. To listen. To be patient. To be the consistent guiding light that they can follow along their journey.
