Parenting a teenager is fulfilling, rewarding and yet challenging. The eyes of your child once stared lovingly at you, now roll in annoyance or refuse to even look in your direction. There are sudden changes in their interests and a need for secrecy in an online world to which you do not belong.
I want to tell you that you are not alone.
Teenagers experience emotional rollercoasters that accompany many transitions occurring at the same time. Changing bodies, mood swings and school demands. Old friends and new foes; falling in love and devastating heartbreak; while trying to figure out the meaning of life, their purpose and ambitions. A significant difference today, is that every move is captured and shared instantly. Life is more visible and can be replayed. The over-exposure of social media has added a new dimension to the life of modern teens and with that has come new repercussions and complications. Sadly, the attention that shared stories of success generate is probably quadrupled when there are videos and images of violence, sexual proclivities or abuse. Bad news travels quickly with little regard for the emotional fallout of those affected.
Parents have the ability to build resilience in young people to help them to navigate the storms that they experience. The first step and foundation of this building comes with understanding teen development. Parents of infants and young children generally do an outstanding job of identifying, documenting and comparing every milestone that their child achieves: The precious first smile; the first tooth bursting its way through the lower gums. Sitting, crawling, ‘dada’ and ‘mama’…all secured with pictures, dates and even laminated keychains. Somewhere off in the future though, the attention to older child and adolescent development fades. This is where we need to renew focus and begin again.
Adolescence is a transitional phase in the life-span through which children develop into adults. Teenagers are unique. They are not big children and certainly not little adults. The dramatic changes to their social, emotional and psychological development, combined with puberty make for a melting pot of growth, experimentation, peer group influences, changing focus and learning. The spice that flavours this pot is the understanding that development in each domain of adolescence can occur independently of the others. This means that a fully grown 16 year old young man can have the academic abilities of his age, the social skills of a 13 year old but be nearly completed puberty and look almost like an adult. He would be an-intelligent-but-childish-adult-sized-person, who wants to spend time in activities of younger children, can manage his studies but probably does not yet have the skills to make positive decisions when coerced by more savvy teens of his peer group. At the end of adolescence we would hope to produce a fully functioning adult off to pursue higher education and employment to contribute to society. Until that time, however they requires parenting to match the wide range of his social, emotional and cognitive skills.
I want to support you on your journey by sharing information that will explore teen life. The ups and downs, its challenges and opportunities; its problems and potentials; support for parents; information for teens and real-time experiences from which we all can learn. Adolescence is that pivotal time in the life-course when behaviour, education and exposure can dramatically affect adulthood. Through honest sharing and guidance we can catapult teens to reach their highest potential.
