Parenting an adolescent is an admixture of delight, adventure and frustration. Changing moods, oscillating goals and the ongoing pursuit of independence. The mixed messages are perplexing and but can even more challenging when raising teenagers of differing developmental or physical needs. Although the term “disability” has been more traditionally used to classify a large and varied group of adolescents with a range of needs and abilities, we recognize that the term is far more stigmatizing that it is supportive. Parents of these teens have to then contend with the societal and educational biases against them, in addition to managing their foray through adolescent development.
For many teen with special needs, the adolescent developmental milestones and struggles proceed in a similar manner to other young people but just on a different timetable. This is why comparisons only serve to frustrate parents and teens like. In order to best manage the multiple processes occurring, parents require specific strengths.
Learning about the disability or diagnosis
Thankfully, we live in a world in which there are reliable and accessible resources for parents. It is imperative that knowledge on different disease processes, expectancies and trajectories are absorbed by parents. Take time to ensure that your sources of information are valid and updated and when in doubt, consult a medical practitioner for reference. Through understanding specific diagnoses, parents are better able to anticipate medical or holistic health care needs, and how they may intersect with adolescent development. It is often forgotten, that most adolescents with chronic medical conditions or developmental delay will proceed through puberty in a normal manner, and thus have the same emotional and social changes. The ways in which they demonstrate may simply be different.
Accessing effective treatments
This remains a challenge for many adjunctive supports within our country. In ideal settings, parents will be able to access mental health, special sensory, occupational, play or other therapies to support adolescents with a range of challenges. While many of these are available, albeit in the private sector, parents are encouraged to take the time to access as many resources and treatment modalities as possible.
Coping skills and supports
Depending on the severity of physical, cognitive or developmental delay, caring for adolescents in these contexts can be stressful and tiring for parents, who often have to also parent other children while working and maintaining a household. It is not selfish to admit when you feel overwhelmed to take time to seek the personal support required. While respite care services are not always readily available, research ways in which extended family or friends can provide opportunity for you to get the rest required to manage your numerous roles.
Advocacy
Stigma surrounding disabilities and chronic diagnoses continues to be a significant issue in our context. Parents of affected children and teens can play a powerful role in advocating for change and inclusion in educational, sporting, and general societal spaces. From issues surrounding physical access to spaces, to inclusion in creative and other activities, take the time to see how you can continue to advocate for your teen, so that they can make their contribution to society and mutually, society learns to accept and support every young person in reaching their ultimate potential.
